Living Within Boundaries, February 23, 2014

Living Within Boundaries

Fruit of the Spirit - Self Control

Genesis 4:1-8, Titus 2:1-15

February 26, 2014

Grace Presbyterian Church

Rev. Dr. Richard E. Miller

Three Strikes and Watch Out   The time was the late 1800s. John and Marcia were married, the reception was over, and they finally left on their honeymoon in a horse-drawn buggy. As they traveled, a piece of paper fluttered across the road and the horse bolted. When John regained control of the horse he said, "That's one!" A few miles later, a rabbit jumped from the side of the road and ran in front of the horse. Again the horse bolted. When John regained control of the horse this time he said, "That's two!" Later on a clap of thunder caused the horse to rear up and John said, "That's three!" He then pulled out his gun and killed the horse. Marcia, quite startled and bewildered, said, "Why John, that's terrible; you shouldn't do that!" John slowly turned to look at his new bride and said, "That's one!"

Explore with Me  This morning I ask you to join me in looking together at what God says about self-control and about the importance of living our lives within God’s physical, moral and emotional boundaries. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit and is often the topic of sermons. I read of one preacher who told his wife he was going to preach a sermon on self-control. She thought a moment and replied, “What don’t you preach on something that you know something about?” Like some of you, I sometimes have difficulty at times in exercising self-control. Therefore I cannot say, “Be like me.” But together we can listen to what God has to say about controlling one’s words and actions.

Self-Control and Discipline Self-control. It’s a rather stern word that we tend to avoid especially if we are trying to stay on a diet. It involves discipline, perseverance, and often a denial of pleasures. Who wants to do that? This past week, we heard of Olympic athletes who had lived a lifetime of self-discipline and self control.

Their years and years of practice and exercise and diets sounded terribly unattractive, at least to me. But their goal of being an Olympic athlete spurred them on. They were able to live within stated boundaries of behavior to achieve a specific goal.

Out of Control  But not everyone is like our Olympic athletes. Much of the evening news tells us of those who are out of control - people who are abusing their bodies with drugs or physically abusing their loved ones - people are caught in corruption, lies and infidelities - people who exact revenge through violence. All are people who could not discipline their desires or resist their temptations. They lacked self-control.

Ain’t it Awful  As we hear of such people, we shake our heads and say, “Ain’t it awful what’s going on in the world today?” And yet, if we’re brutally honest with ourselves, we’d have to admit that sometimes we lost our temper, sought revenge, uttered words that hurt others, gave in to malicious gossiping, held grudges, or were filled with jealousy. We know these are wrong but we say “I just couldn’t help myself.” In other words, we couldn’t keep our lives within God’s boundaries.

Self-Control The word for self control in Greek is “sophroneo.” It means to be in the right state of mind, to be clear minded and to have sober judgement. It means keeping hurtful emotional outbursts in check. James speaks of the importance of taming the tongue because when out of control, the tongue corrupts the whole person and sets the whole course of a person’s life on fire. [James 3:6]

The Ten Commandments The Bible is filled with thoughts about boundaries. Perhaps the most important is the Decalogue, the Ten Commandments. Contrary to what we might wish, they are not the Ten Suggestions. Instead, they are specific commandments that set forth moral, physical and spiritual boundaries within which God expects us to live. And believe me, we need a God who sets boundaries for our behavior. Without such boundaries, life becomes chaos.

           

In Proverbs we read, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” [Proverbs 27:28] And James wrote,“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” [James 1:19-20]

Cain and Abel Perhaps the first instance in the Bible that revealed lack of self control is found in our scripture from Genesis. Cain and Abel are brothers. Abel was a keeper of sheep and Cain a tiller of the ground. Both present offerings to God. Abel brought the firstlings of his flock and gave them to God. Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground. Then we read that God approved of Abel’s offering but had no regard for Cain’s offering. Cain became very angry that his brother’s offering was accepted and his wasn’t. God then made a most interesting comment to Cain. He said “sin is lurking at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must master it.” That is, “I know you’re angry, but you must master your emotions and show self-control.” Cain wasn’t able to do this. He was angry at God and jealous of his brother. So he killed his brother.

Paul’s Letter to Titus  In Paul’s letter to Titus which we heard this morning, he gives the following advice: that older men are to be temperate, worthy of respect and self-controlled. That younger women are to love their husbands and children and be self-controlled. That the young men be self-controlled. He then says that the grace of God teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives.

Boundaries  What Paul is talking about is life boundaries. Behavioral boundaries, moral boundaries, spiritual boundaries. Paul himself struggled with boundaries for he admitted, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” [Romans 7:15] Basically, sin is a violation of God’s boundaries. And all Christians must strive to establish and respect boundaries beyond which they do not step.

These include boundaries of our speech that it always might be appropriate and under control. It includes boundaries of our actions that we might never abuse others or ourselves physically or emotionally or violate sacred covenants of marriage.

Controlled Outrage Are there ever times when we should get angry? Absolutely! We should flare up in righteous indignation whenever and wherever injustices occur. We should express controlled outrage whenever and wherever humans are subjected to inhumane atrocities, when children are abused, when justice and righteousness are violated. Jesus displayed controlled outrage on many occasions. He raged against the scribes and pharisees calling them hypocrites and that they were like whitewashed tombs, beautiful on the outside and inside full of the bones of the dead. [Matthew 23:27] And he drove out the moneychangers in the Temple telling them they were making the house of the Lord a den of robbers. [Matthew 21:12-13] It has been said that, “A person who is angry on the right grounds, against the right persons, in the right manner, at the right moment, and for the right length of time deserves great praise.” 

How to Exercise Self Control  As we know, there have been and will be times when our patience is tested or we are disappointed or hurt, and our emotions flare up. How can we exercise self-control when such things happen?

 Count to Ten Some people say, “Just count to ten” before doing or saying anything. There’s merit to this since to pause and allow your emotions to subside often keeps you from hurting someone. However, one person said “I find counting to ten just gives me more time to consider what I would like to hit them with.”

Stay Calm The story is told of a woman in a supermarket who saw a man with his three-year old son. The three year old was asking over and over that he wanted some candy he saw. His father said, “Now, Billy, this won’t take long.” But then the little boy  screamed even louder. And the father said to him, “Now Billy, calm down, we’ll be done in just a few minutes.” By the time they were checking out, the little boy was screaming hysterically.

And the father again kept his cool and said, “Take it easy, Billy, we’re just about done. We’ll be in the car in just a minute and then everything will be OK.” The woman who observed all this was impressed beyond words. She approached the man and said,”I am so amazed at how you kept your temper while your son, Billy, was yelling so much.” The man said, “My son’s name isn’t Billy. I’m Billy.”

Solution? What is the solution when we’ve crossed over sacred boundaries for any reason? Allow God to control our lives. By so doing we end up allowing the Spirit to control our self-gratification, self-importance, and emotional and physical outbursts.

One pastor put it this way: “Self-control requires only one thing - not dismal self-denial; not “sweetness and light,” not stoic determination. For if we try to become perfect, do God’s will, fulfill the commandments, live as if we had the Spirit’s fruit but do it on our own, we will fail and mutilate ourselves or someone else in the process. The only thing that Christian self control requires is this: give up control, give it up to the Spirit of God, and the desire of the Spirit will prevent you from doing the evil that you would, the evil that you are afraid of, the things that make you hate yourself. Give it up to God, and a more passionate desire than you’ve ever known will take you to the heavens...here, and in the life to come.” [Christine Chakoian, August 12, 1984]

If there are parts of your life that are out of control and straying over proper boundaries, surrender your anger, improper desires, chemical addictions, craving for revenge, and seething resentments to God - that is, every aspect of your life. If you do, what you value in life will change. What is important to you will change. How you respond to stress and disappointments will change. Your willingness to forgive will change. And how you look at yourself will change. Your life will be lived joyfully within boundaries.The result is magnificent. This is why Paul wrote, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come!” [2 Corinthians 5:17] Amen.

Genesis 4:1-8 NRSV

Now the man knew his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have produced a man with the help of the Lord.’ Next she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.’ Cain said to his brother Abel, ‘Let us go out to the field.’ And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.

Titus 2:1-15 NRSV

But as for you, teach what is consistent with sound doctrine. Tell the older men to be temperate, serious, prudent, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance. Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, gravity, and sound speech that cannot be censured; then any opponent will be put to shame, having nothing evil to say of us. Tell slaves to be submissive to their masters and to give satisfaction in every respect; they are not to answer back, not to pilfer, but to show complete and perfect fidelity, so that in everything they may be an ornament to the doctrine of God our Savior. For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all, training us to renounce impiety and worldly passions, and in the present age to live lives that are self-controlled, upright, and godly, while we wait for the blessed hope and the manifestation of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. He it is who gave himself for us that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify for himself a people of his own who are zealous for good deeds. Declare these things; exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one look down on you.